I have demons in me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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