I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
