Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
