i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
