I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am naked and annoyed.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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