Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
