I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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