So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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