i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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