He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
