I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
