Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
