i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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