I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
