This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
