I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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