I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
