i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
