I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I can text with my tongue
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
