and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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