they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
