i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
