Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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