Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
