fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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