No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize