Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
