I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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