wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
