I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so let's talk penis.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
