Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
