i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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