We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
