Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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