she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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