i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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