Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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