I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
