he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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