Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
