Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
