He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
