I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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