He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
