Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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