toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
