i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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