k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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