let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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