I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
