sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
