rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I need moral support for this bender
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
