oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
