i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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