i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
