Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All the doctor said was why
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
