**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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