All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
