why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
