Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
