Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
