Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
