Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
