So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
